How To Discover Love?

How To Discover Love?

“How to discover love?”, is the most common question we end up asking ourselves. We battle lifelong to make us understand love. When things end in a relationship, we eventually say that maybe it wasn’t love and I still have a lot to explore. Many philosophers say, “Love is complex, beyond our understanding. One can find love by experiencing their surroundings. Some discover love by travelling – writing while some learn about it with the help of yoga and meditation.”

Well, I say stop looking around. Slowly close your eyes, take a deep breath of fresh air and look inside yourself. Take a slow walk, right from your mind to your eyes, from your eyes to chest and so on. Look around. Can’t see anything because it is too dark? Let’s find the light to dig deeper.

Our body, soul and mind are like a well filled with water. To quench our thirst, we need to grab a shovel to dig deep, remove stones and soil layer by layer. And when we remove all these obstacles in between we find the freshwater. Similarly, love is within us, right from our existence. When we opened our eyes looked at our beautiful family, we smiled. Every time our father threw us in the air and caught us back strongly, we laughed. Remember when we shared our lunch with our best friends without thinking? All these moments are a reflection of love.

Love is natural, it comes from within. It is effortless. But as we grow, we tend to search it outside. The fountain of love was flowing free from the earth when we were young but now it is covered with stones, gravel and soil. And to discover love again we need to take a journey to remove these obstacles. 

So what are these hindrances which stop us from feeling the love? To understand this, I’ll tell you a story which I read from the book “From Sex to Superconsciousness by Osho”. Yes, a book as infamous as it is famous.

Once there was a tree. It was high as a tower ready to touch the sky. When it used to flower, butterflies of all colours danced around it. Birds crafted their nests on its branches. When it bore fruit, monkeys from faraway lands would come on it. Every day a little boy visited the tree and played under it. The tree always felt cheerful by seeing him and fell in love with him. Sounds weird, a tree so big and boy so little. There was nothing in common leaving one thing which is love. When we are in love, we don’t see what is big or small. Love embraces whomsoever comes near. Judgement, on the other hand, restrain us and leave us with nothing called love.

Every time the boy visited, the tree pampered him by moving its branches down so the boy could pluck the flowers and fruits. Love is ready to bow but when the ego comes in the way, it expands our chest and lifts us upwards. Love is happy when it is able to give something. Ego is happy when it is able to take something. 

As time passed by the boy grew and he became taller. So he started climbing the branches of the tree and when he felt tired, he slept on it. Love is happy when it gives comfort to someone. Ego is only happy when it takes away someone’s comfort.

With the passage of time, the burden of duties came on the boy’s shoulder. He started focusing on his ambitions like exams to pass, friends to win and so he stopped visiting the tree regularly. As we grow, we start being ambitious and listen to everyone around us telling us how to live and what to do to reach success and gain happiness. 

Tree became sad and called out the boy, “Come. Come. I’m waiting for you.” Love always waits for the beloved to come. But anyone who grows bigger in ambitions finds less and less time for love. 

One day, the tree saw the boy passing by, all grown up. The tree called with joy, “Come to me. I’ve been waiting for you every day.” The boy heard and turned back to reply, “Why should I come to you? You’ve nothing to give. I’m in search of money. Can you give me that.” When you have a motive it is not called love. Love is motiveless. The tree was startled with the boy’s reaction and said, “Do one thing. Pluck all the fruits off me and sell them to earn money.” Without waiting for a second, the boy climbed the tree and plucked all its fruits even the raw ones. Greediness made him hurt the tree by breaking its branches and crushing its leaves. But the tree felt joy in pain. Even getting broke makes love happy. The boy didn’t even thank the tree and took off for the market. He became rich and stopped visiting the tree again. 

After many years, the boy visited the tree. The tree said, “Come to me. Embrace me. Swing on my branches” Love never forgets. But the boy who was now a man replied in anger, “Stop this nonsense! That was a childhood thing. Now I don’t have time for all this, I have to build a house. Why should I love you? Are you able to give me a house?” The tree cried, “ I don’t live in a house but you can cut my branches to build one.” Like always he cut the branches of the tree and left without even turning back. Slyness only leads to exploitation of the humble one. While humbleness indicates love, the one which helps at any hour. 

Now the tree stood alone with no branches and fruits on it, just the tunk. It kept calling the boy, “Come to me. Come to me. Let’s play again.” A long time passed and now the boy which became man is now old. He sat under the shade of the tree. The tree felt now he has returned for being with me forever. But there was a frown on the old man’s forehead. A frown of unsatisfaction. The tree couldn’t see him in pain and ask, “ What can I do for you?” The old man said, “What you can do for me? I want to travel to a distant land to earn more money. Unfortunately, I cannot because I don’t have a boat.” Happily, the tree said, “Cut my trunk and make a boat for yourself. But promise you’ll stay safe and return soon.”

Now, all it was left a stump which still waited for its love. It was worried if the old man was safe. All it wanted to hear about him once so he could die happily. But the old man never returned.

Love never fades away. But if we start embracing all these obstacles, we’ll lose our way. We’ll never find a road to return back to love. Yes, love is within us. 

Now close your eyes again. Grab a light and start your search. You’ll see a huge pile of ambitions, judgement, ego, greediness, and dishonesty. Come close to the pile and start removing them one by one. Yes, it is a long journey but what you’ll finally find below all this weight is eternal. Become like this tree.

Love is within us.

Leave a Reply